You Want a Hot Take? Here’s a Hot Take: Fuck You.
Let’s just get this out of the way:
Not everything is profound.
Not everything deserves nuance.
Some things are just fucking stupid.
So here’s a list of shit that can get fucked:
Corporate mission statements.
Nobody believes in “synergy.” You sell dish soap, Sharon.Influencer apologies.
You got caught. You’re not sorry. You just want the money to keep flowing.The phrase "we’re all in this together."
No, we’re not. You’re in a Tesla. I’m in a Fiesta with no A/C.LinkedIn thought leadership.
A grown man posted a photo of his cappuccino and called it a lesson in resilience.Meetings that could’ve been emails.
You don’t need my "bandwidth," you just need someone to blame when this shit fails.Wellness influencers selling detox teas.
Your liver already does that. And you are full of shit, literally and figuratively.People who say “I just tell it like it is,” right before lying or being racist.
You’re not edgy. You’re just a dick with Wi-Fi.Homeowner's associations.
Nothing screams freedom like a guy named Jeff fining you for painting your mailbox.AI-generated art.
Looks like a blender fucked a dream journal. Pass.The word “content.”
What used to be stories, ideas, blood, sweat, tears — now it’s “content.”
Beige sludge, posted daily. Kill me.“Rise and grind” culture.
If your alarm clock is your personality, seek help.“It’s just a phase.”
Maybe. Or maybe I’m just finally awake and you’re still asleep.The algorithm.
That cold, invisible god you pray to daily without realizing it’s the thing killing your soul.Hot takes.
Including this one. Especially this one.
